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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Me ... The Worry Wrat

Have you ever had the feeling that things just aren’t good enough for you? Or had you had one of those days where you think that everything’s just fine but actually deep down inside your heart you have a zillion questions you needed answers for but are too frustrated to find them because no one will give them answers to you because everyone’s telling you that everything is fine?

Well, I guess I have a problem of not believing that things are just fine the way they are. Why am I like this? Is this due to the fact that I am so insecure or obscure about everything that I need to know that everything’s just fine? Is it because all the answers in the world are just to make me feel fine or is it because I am too proud to admit that I wanna know that all is well and fine and that’ll help make me feel better?

I don’t know? I’ve been told before that I worry too much. Have been asked to chill down and don’t worry about the problem unless something really bad happens … then worry about the problem? Is that a good way of treating or remedy the situation? Should I just sit down and wait for something bad to happen and then take action to correct it? Or should I just keep on typing this piece of crap while the problem I am facing isn’t going away and pretend that writing this will help it go? What should I do?

Gosh, if you come across this, I’ve written more questions that there are statements here. You are just wasting your time if you go past this sentence. I am going to keep on typing until I can think that things are ok or I can find a solution making me think that things can be ok already. What does it mean to become a perfectionist? Am I a perfectionist? I don’t think I am. Am not obsessive compulsive like you see in one of those comedy series that our local television station airs every … umm … I can’t remember when.

What can I do? What is there for me to do? Where can I get the answers? Is it normal that man isn’t equipped with all the answers in the world because he can’t handle it? Am I too weak to handle the truth? Anyone … please tell me … please …. I need the answers …